What to expect from performance coaching: Sarah's story

31/7/2016

I’m often asked how performance coaching works and what to expect, so I asked one of my clients if I could share her story. I’ve changed the name for her privacy, but to be honest, this story reminds me of most of my clients! I hope you find it useful to get a better understanding of how performance coaching works and how it could benefit you:)

Sarah’s story

When I first met Sarah she was a fantastic young pianist with a great deal of potential but she was unable to see this herself. No matter how much others told her she was doing well, she doubted herself and believed she had never had a good performance. She loved to play, and was intensely driven, but admitted to being a bit of a perfectionist and was worried that if she wasn't really hard on herself she would never be good enough.

Why Sarah came to see me

Before every performance, Sarah found herself overwhelmed with nerves - she shook so much she thought there was no way she’d be able to perform and the voices in her head were scathing and hateful, saying she would fail, that she was a fraud and had no right to be up on stage. She still managed to perform but the experience was no longer enjoyable; instead she would feel disappointed, upset and frustrated.

One of the first things that struck me was Sarah didn’t really have any techniques for managing her anxiety. She just tried to block out her negative thoughts and tell herself not to stuff it up. She struggled to tell me about her strengths and successes but could rattle off a long list of flaws and failures without coming up for breath.

The first appointment

During our first appointment I asked Sarah to tell me about why she’d come to see me, and how she felt when she performed, how much time she spent mentally preparing for a performance and what her thoughts were, before, during and after performances. This is a hard question to answer as we are not often aware of our underlying thought patterns. We talked about why we experience anxiety and I helped Sarah to recognise that some of her habitual actions and responses could be contributing to her anxious feelings. By the end of the session, Sarah could see she had some work to do, but was relieved and excited to realise that she didn't have to put up with feeling this way.

Following appointments

Sarah and I worked together every fortnight for another nine sessions; she had a big performance coming up that she was dreading. We spent some time balancing Sarah’s perception of her ability and helping her to focus on her strengths and successes, building her self confidence and recognising the detrimental effect of her negative self talk. We then developed a pre-performance routine that Sarah could reliably use before performances to prepare mentally. We also talked about why Sarah loved to perform, and helped her to create goals that were in line with her own volition for playing - a detail that often disappears when we get too caught up with everyone else’s expectations. By far the biggest challenge for Sarah was letting go of her perfectionism; learning to see how her exacting standards were making it impossible for her to feel she performed well was a big game changer.

Results!

When Sarah’s performance arrived she was still nervous, but she knew she was ready, she was confident she could do it and was able to harness her nerves and use them to help her perform. The performance went extremely well, but the most important achievement for Sarah was that she ENJOYED performing and was really pleased with how it went.

What I hope you can take away from Sarah’s experience is:

You don’t have to put up with performance anxiety and sub-par performance.
Ignoring your challenges won’t make them go away.
Seeing a performance coach doesn’t mean you aren’t a capable performer!
Performance coaching doesn’t need to be threatening or intimidating - I am here to help you work through your challenges and teach you the necessary skills to manage your nerves.
With a little bit of effort you can learn to enjoy your performances and manage your nerves.

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Amy Radford is a Performance Psychologist based in Sydney, Australia. She is passionate about translating the latest research from psychology and neuroscience into practical strategies for both peak performance and career satisfaction.

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